Sun 2 Jul 2017
Hi, Hello. It’s been a while since I’ve sat down and written something.
I’ve been watching The West Wing on Amazon and I’ve realized two really important things:
1 – My father never said “I’m proud of you.”
2 – I don’t say “I’m proud of you” enough.
Why is that important? Well, it is a sign of encouragement. I’m really hoping that no one in my life needs to hear “I’m proud of you” to remain important, but I do realize it is a nice thing to hear and something that folks close to me should hear from me more often.
Why am I bothering to right this? Well – because of #1. I don’t recall a single moment in history where my father (or my mother) told me they were proud of me. I’m pretty sure they were – but they never said it.
So what?
We’ll it’s a matter of pragmatism.
If they never said it, then it might not be true.
This is an example of uni-directional pragmatism. That is, saying it makes it true, but not saying it does not mean it is true.
I am left wondering – is it true? I believe it is, but I don’t know. Since I can’t ask them, I’m left wondering…
An insecure person would probably wonder forever and assume the negative – they were not proud. But I’m what I call mostly secure. I’m usually secure, and therefore, I usually don’t need reinforcement and I believe they were proud!
Now, in my family, reinforcement was non-existent. Not because it wasn’t warranted, or because it wasn’t deserved, but simply because it wasn’t talked about. To reinforce during a time of need implies you know it is a time of need. That implies an higher level of understanding and a higher level of awareness – that simply did not exist in my family
That’s OK, because I’m trying to change that. How? Well, by saying “I’m proud of you.”
Simple.
My son will know I am proud of him. No matter what he does in life, I will support him. He will know – right or wrong – if I think he needs to do better. He will also know – right or wrong – whatever he does, I will be there for him.
He’s a good kid, and being there for him is easy. I suppose he could take a wrong turn and make supporting him difficult, but I am committed to supporting him – so I will.
Only time will tell what type of person he grows into, but I am confident he will be someone I will rally around and support at all costs.
So here we are – today. Wondering. Proud? Not so proud? I think Proud. No reason not to be. On nearly all fronts.
Life could certainly be less complicated, and in return, less enjoyable. I have chosen to enjoy life a little more, step out from my comfortable zone a lot, and push forward to the future.
I hope my son learns to be proud of his father, of his children (should he have some), and ensure at all times the people that surround him know they loves him, trust him, treasures him.
I do.
If nothing else in this life, I hope I can accomplish that goal. And many more.
Peace out my friends.
Swim fishy, swim…
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